Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My Homicidal Cats

They look perfectly innocent here but do not be fooled. Just ask the latest poor birdie that got in the house. Yip, another bird made it's way into our basement, this one was not so lucky. 

 It happened last week when I was sick.  It was another dreary day and I was feeling pretty icky so after  I did a few chores I headed back to bed for a nap. I was snoozing away when both cats ran in the room and jumped up on my bed. I sat up to see what the heck was going on when to my horror I saw the limp bird body clutched firmly in Corny's mouth. Fritz was circling around... he really wanted that bird. I gave a holler and they took off up the stairs. I scrambled out of bed, shuffled into my slippers and took off after them. I had visions of blood and guts all over my new living room rugs.  The hall way was littered with antique tins and candy containers that usually  sit on the shelves.  This did not make me happy, I pushed them out of the way with my foot and continued my feline pursuit.

I rush into the living room, the television is blaring at top volume, the man of the house is reclining in his recliner wrapped up in his leopard print snuggy, soda and peanuts on the table beside him, not at all fazed by the dashing and crashing going on around him.   I fill the room with swear words and yell for him to get up and help me catch the damn cats.  I have been married to this man for 45 years and have never heard him utter a single swear word.... I guess he figures I swear enough for both of us. 

I hear the cats in the kitchen and yell for/at my beloved hubby to give me a hand. We head into the kitchen, there they are under the table, I block the door, hubby grabs up Corny, removes the poor lifeless little bird body, opens the back door, flings the carcass  out on a snow drift and goes back to his recliner. 

Now I am huffing and puffing, muttering to myself and follow him back into the living room  and ask "Did you not know there was a bird in the house?"  "Sure" he says "It flew in here, I didn't know how to catch it so I let the cats do it." and he goes back to munching peanuts.  Now you know why I swear.


  1. Well for heavens sakes and they look like such angels in their basket. Someday you'll look back on this and think it's funny. For now I'd probably be as mad as you are. Bless your heart.

  2. Hmmm, kind of makes sense, yanno? Letting the cats catch the bird. Oh wait, why didn't they eat it and get blood and guts all over your rugs? I think they have been taking secret lessons from Ipo.

    This is a great story. I LOVE the Snuggy visual. And I hope you aren't sick any longer. xoxoxoxoxo

  3. I love this story. I've been with my DH for 40 years and this sounds exactly like what he would do.


  4. I feel sorry for the poor bird, but your story sure had me laughing. It's right out of the old Saturday night live shows. I can picture your husband as Chevy Chase and you as Jane Curtin!


    PS: Hope you're feeling better!

  5. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! omg I am dying here. I can actually see you and your hubby perfectly in my mind. and the cats...looking so damn innocent as feathers slowly drift down. I am sorry the bird was killed.

  6. Oh BJ, thank you so much for sharing this story! I laughed the entire time I was reading it, and could picture the whole thing!! Calm hubby, kickin' back while so much commotion was going on around him... Too funny! I am sorry about the bird, but I guess cats will be cats. And just look at them in that picture... Looking so innocent! LOL! (I posted an "I'm Innocent" dog story on my blog yesterday... Our pets really do provide good stories, don't they?!)


  7. Hi darling,
    I have 4 Angels too HIIIIIII
    I'm lucky that they look at the birds from the window or on the balcony and they did not catch them, but when they make something wrong they change the face into Angel's face.
    Come and have a look at them on my blog, they are in a post of Christmas greetings

  8. I agree Dawna, they do look like angels... boy are looks deceiving!!

    All the men in the family agree with you Moe, they think the cats were a perfect solution....

    Apparently all men think alike Cynthia.... it never occurred to him to save the bird.

    You made my day Sandy, Chevy Chase and Jane Curtin... I wish!! LOL The old Saturday Night Live shows were so great.

    LOL Kathi, that poor little birdie didn't have a chance. You should have seen the dirty looks the cats gave me after they lost their prize.

    You got that right Trina, nothing ruffles my hubby... that's why the cats love him, they think of him as a partner in crime.

    Hi Sonia, I checked out your blog and the kitties.... you have double the trouble and they are black and orange too.... I enjoyed looking at your blog... so many nice things.

  9. As soon as I read the title, I knew that some bird had wandered in again. I love it that your DH said he knew he couldn't catch it so he let the cats do it. That's really sensible, if you think about it! I am laughing, I'm sure you weren't at the time, though.

  10. My cat used to bring me road kill - totally flat and sometimes with tire tread marks. He thought he was fooling me with his presents. That I would think he was a mighty hunter. lol

  11. Also, that same cat made me a present of my mother's pet bird one day. He dragged it to my room in the basement, still alive. When I got home from work, he was anxiously awaiting my arrival. He was so proud of himself. I picked him up and literally THREW him up the steps. He landed on the second to top step. He was so confused why I wasn't pleased with him and bounded back down the stairs to circle me and his dying prey, crying and rubbing against my legs waiting for me to be happy with him.

    I loved that cat more than life itself but I could have snapped his neck that night. He was part Siamese and had that dog-like personality that I was center of his universe, unlike most cats that think they are the center of the universe. My poor baby, Luna. *sniff* I miss him.

  12. Being a city woman, I can still sympathize; my cats don't go out but they sure find dead things to bring me....mice, large water bugs. I once tried to save a mouse from their clutches, but couldn't catch it. His fate was sealed. The funny thing is, as Vixenjewels noted, they bring it to us as a present not knowing we don't share their perspective and wondering why we're screaming at them when they took the time to forage for us!!!

    The funnniest thing is, my city home bound cats will bring me anything in the absence of prey.....gutted tissue packs, rolled up And by the way, my husband, may he rest in piece, would've responded as yours did - what's the fuss? Hilarious story!!