Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Wild Bird in the House

Does anyone else gets birds in the house? I'm not talking about canaries or parakeets I'm talking about wild birds. Every year or two a bird finds it 's way into our basement. I cannot find where they get in, I've looked and looked and can't figure it out.  Most times I hear them banging around.... go down to see what the heck the cats are doing... and see a bird flying around. I open the basement door and shoo it out, not a big deal.  A couple times it has been a little more exciting than that. Today was one of those times.

I was sitting in my office listening to NPR and surfing the web looking for the best place to buy a jeweler's saw.  I hear rattling noises and look up to see things falling off the wall in the stairway going up into to main part of the house... "what the hell?" at first I though "earthquake". I see the ear of one of my Easter bunny candy containers fluttering to the floor and suddenly I hear both cats madly dashing around upstairs..... not  good... so I do a little dashing myself.  I make it to the front entry and I see the bird in the stair well flying upward to the second floor and two cats in hot pursuit.  As I reach the landing and look up the bird lands on my head, Fritz, my male cat, leaps up on the newel post and is about to launch himself at the bird.  I have visions of a big black cat and a stupid little bird atop my bloody scratched up head and I scream NOOOOOOO!! Which scares both the bird and the cat. The bird flies upward, the cats right behind. Fortunately all the bedroom doors are closed, the only room open is the small den/sitting room at the front of the house. The bird  flies in, both cats dash in and I stumble in and slam the door yelling at the top of my lungs. The bird lands on the ledge above the window and is running back and forth looking for a way out.  The cats are stalking back and forth looking for ways to get at the bird. Fritz jumps from the futon to the chest of drawers, I grab him, jerk open the door and toss him out and slam the door shut.  Corny, who is an experienced hunter is more cunning, she is crouched on the futon, tail swishing, waiting for the bird to make a mistake.  I scoop her up with a triumph "Ah Ha!". I have her in a firm grip under my left arm, I can hear Fritz outside the door.  I am prepared.... or so I think... I will block his entrance with my foot.... I open the door with my right hand stick out my left  foot and Fritz leaps over my foot with the grace of a gazelle.  "Oh S@#%!!". So I toss Corny out the door and again slam it shut.

 Now keep in mind I am no spring chicken and I am running out of steam... here I am, shut in a  room with a terrified bird and a very determined cat.  I'm plotting how I can grab Fritz.... he's fast and stays out of my reach but is keeping an eye on the bird. When I move the bird flies around the room banging into the wall and falls downs either on the tv table, end table or chest of drawers. Fritz leaps at the bird, I leap at Fritz and we all come up empty handed or empty pawed as the case may be.  This happens several times. I'm huffing and puffing and swearing. It is fair to say none of us as having a good time.

This calls for desperate measures. Fritz is deathly afraid of plastic bags so I decide if I get a plastic bag maybe I can open the door a bit and use the bag to scare him out of the room.  For this plan to work I need a plastic bag. I look through the chest of drawers hoping to find one, even went through the trash can.... nope no plastic bag.  To get a bag I will need to leave the room, to leave the room I must make sure Corny.... who I can hear outside the door... doesn't get back in.  This time I have a pillow from the futon to block her... she is not as aggressive as Fritz so it works. I find the bag in my bedroom, put Corny in the bathroom and grab a bath towel.... not sure what I'm going to do with the towel... kinda have a plan to throw it like a net over either the cat or the bird.  I go back in the room. I leave the door open about 6"... big enough for the cat to go out. I don't want to open it all the way, the bird might fly out.  I start flapping the plastic bag which scares the heck out of both critters.... Fritz is cowering under the futon and the bird is once again trying to bang his way through the wall. He falls to the floor, Fritz pounces, grabs the bird, I grab Fritz screaming "Drop it, Drop it DROP It!!  Which he does. The bird is chirping a strange  little sound and scrambles under the bookcase, Fritz squirms out of my grasp and is trying his best to get the bird out from under the bookcase.  I push Fritz away with my foot and try to grab him, he darts back under the futon. When I move the bird flies up and lands on the blinds right in front of me. I toss the towel over him..."gotcha!!"  the "net plan" worked.  I wrap him up in the towel, fling open the door in victory and head downstairs to set him free.  Yes, I am happy to report, there is a happy ending.  I stepped out onto the back porch opened the towel and the bird flew into the trees... what a relief.  Time for a Bloody Mary, I need it.

Yes, Sarah, Grandma does like a Bloody Mary. They come in handy from time to time.

An interesting sideline to this story. My husband works nights, he was just down the hall during all this activity... slept though the whole thing.  My hero.

Check this out, Fritz is still mad at me. He is lying in the doorway of the den. First he wouldn't looks at me.

Then he gave me a dirty look.

Corny, on the other hand, is fine. She always has that superior look on her face.


  1. Haha, I was thinking "Grandma drinks Bloody Mary's??" but then you addressed that. I knew you drank Corona!

  2. holy hell Beeeeej, you should not be allowed to have that much fun. Thanks for saving the birdie :D

    ps...I have two jewelers saw and a ton of blades. want one?

  3. Ok Beej, I just gotta ask...why didn't you just open the window and let the bird out? Don't tell me. The evil painters painted it shut. :( Great story! You gotta start drinking wine. :D

  4. LOL Kathi... you have a strange idea of "fun"!! I was afraid I had squished the birdie and was greatly relieved when he flew away.

    Is there anything you don't have.... I would love a jewelers saw, maybe we can work out a trade?

  5. let's move this to email k? we will talk :)

  6. Well Moe, Miss Smarty Pants... I live in a 100 year old house with rope and pulley windows they are heavy & difficult to open not to mention I had visions of my stupid cats leaping out the two story window after the stupid bird..... and landing with s splat! on the concrete below.

    I'm sticking to my Bloody Marys, wine gives me a head ache and heart burn.

  7. Quite the excitement! We had a bat event like this. It had a happy ending too, but my cats were no help. They chased the bat upstairs to our bedroom and then left!

  8. Oh wow, Beej, how funny this was for a non-pet owner to read. And the photos of Fritz are priceless. Hugs!

  9. LOL Marie, My daughter gets bats in her belfry... oops, I mean house... every now and then too. She very calmly catches the bat and takes it outside.

    Boy Jackie there are times when I wish I was a "non-pet owner" and that was one of them.